The ‘Upside of Exile’… take 2

purplegrowthI wrote a post entitled ‘The Upside of Exile’ back in October, prompted by an article in the NY Times on the value of leaving the comforts of the place we call ‘home’— giving up former identities, leaving much of what we hold near and dear, moving out of our comfort zones—in the service of renewal and reinvention. I stressed the connection between this notion of exile and our ability to have ‘fresh eyes’  (previous post)—to see things anew, to be awake and alive, to have fresh perspectives. The post was also very personal as I had recently decided to ‘exile’ myself to a new home in Mexico—exciting on the one hand but not without plenty of questioning and self doubt.

Seven months later I can speak to another, more profound and somewhat ironic upside of exile: a deeper sense of home. Once all the dust and chaos of relocation settle and the initial excitement and fun of everything being new and different gives way to routine as it inevitably does; you find truth in the saying ‘Anywhere you go, there you are.’ Through the process of rebuilding your life in a new place you discover what aspects of your experience are a function of where you are and what aspects are with you no matter where you go. And that’s when the real work of renewal begins; the opportunity to shed old ways of being that no longer serve you; to learn how to be self reliant—not depending on outer circumstances for a sense of security, but most importantly you learn how to feel at home within yourself no matter where you are. That’s hugely empowering.

Many friends, old and new, have talked about the courage it must have taken to make this move. Up until recently it didn’t feel courageous, rather that I was stumbling along. Now it does feel a bit more like courage, aptly framed by this quote I recently came across: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”–Ambrose Redmoon

  • Bridget

    Great observation! It is amazing how much of what we do and the way we react to stimuli is the function of our environment.

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